Sunday, October 23, 2011

Everyones doing it

Where I am living now, in a dorm like situation everyone seems to be have a boyfriend or girlfriend besides me. And a few others. I don't mean to sound sorry for myself though I probably will. Love blinds is a valid expression. Not just in the sense that you get blinded to the persons faults that you are in love with and to truths sometimes, but in the sense that you are wearing blinders and not seeing the rest of the world. People tend to not be so sensitive when they are in love. I am sure I wasn't to different but now I am the other side of the road. I want people, and especially my friends to be happy whether or not it's something I agree with such as pot or an unhealthy relationship. I want them to be happy and get the most out of life but does it have to be at the expense of others? We got to open up our eyes a little bit. Also when people are together it eliminates more friend options, because the couple is always together and even if they aren't you don't want to feel like the first 3rd wheel so it just gets uncomfortable. And everyone keeps making jokes that i am going to be the old cat lady that is single forever. In my mind I justify it that I am not settling for anyone and just waiting for the right guy because hes out there, and I don't want to keep settling for less. And I don't want to have meaningless hook ups all it does is add more guys to my list and pushes me away from finding the right guy. I want to get married there I said it. I want to build a life with someone, have children and begin real life, how ever it might get. I feel ready, I just need a guy that will love me, and accept me and be an awesome person. Until then I will just keep waiting and try not to be so frustrated. Side not- I like being alone with myself, getting to know myself better, and having more friendships. I am not the type of girl who needs to be with someone, to influence their self-esteem, to feel good about themselves and more. I love myself but I feel ready to be with someone in a meaningful relationship.

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