Dear rapist

Dear rapist,
Its been close to 3 years now since you pushed me down on the bed, took my virginity, disrespected my no, took away my voice, made me hate sex, fear men, and push myself away from so many people. Thanks by the way. Not for the pain and tears I've cried but rather for letting me find strength in places I didn't know I have. Because of what you did I changed from a girl to a woman, from being naive to being aware of the dangers of the world, from trusting people to putting down so many fences and forts thats I wont let anyone in. I could hate you, but instead I'm just really sorry for you. You seriously couldn't get it without pushing someone down and pounding her while she screamed and cried? You have a hand for a reason, learn to use it. Youre a miserable low life, who has no clue what you did to me. I have had offers to hurt you, but I never took anyone up on it. Cause what would I gain? The physical pain anybody would cause to you could never compare to the emotional pain and trauma you and others have caused. Plus I am not you, I try my best not to hurt people. Yes I have nightmares and flashbacks and wake up screaming time to time. And the first time I had sex after you took my virginity from me, I made him stop cause all I could see was your face and not my boyfriend. I even have physical scars from the emotional pain you caused. I might be scared of sex and had plenty of sex with random guys in hope the fear would dissipate, but I have learned how to deal with fear and how to deal with tough times. I will survive this, stronger than before I ever met you. I will be a better person, but you will always be a rapist.