Just friends

Like I have written earlier,I am a tomboy,I like guy things. So I can hold long conversations with guys. About guns,sports and other guy related things. But it tends to put me in the friend category. Either guys just want to hook up or just be friends. And yea some of my friends I really want to just be friends with but there's a few I wouldn't mind dating. One guy that I am friends with but also kind of like but am content with being friends since that's all he want,s our friendship revolves around me being tough and guy like. We shoot fake sniper rifles off of roofs, have push-up contents, and have sarcastic conversation making fun of girls being emotional and how tough we are. Its good, its a friendship I really value. Another guy I just met that I also liked, we climbed a tree together yesterday and then talked about how we cant talk about our secret FBI/CIA missions since we are in different agency's and its top secret. A lot of my relationships with guys are about me being one of the guys. There are only two guys I ever dated, and in both of those relationships I was extremely needy and probably very not emotionally stable. I was going through a lot and couldn't get over it and thought I needed a hero, someone, anyone to save me from the nightmares I was going through. So I would get dependent on one of these guys and expect them to be there for me. The more I opened up to them the more I became dependent on them (one at a time). I was so vulnerable from being with a guy that I would feel I need more guys to fill that deep emptiness and loneliness I had and ruin the relationship I had. I was an emotional mess. In the last few months I have gotten over a lot of my past and am ok. I am dependent on myself and take care of myself, and once in while when I need it I have a good friends (girl) to lean on. I am no longer needy, I dont need a guy to make me feel better. I put up a lot of fences and a tough exterior not to let anyone in cause I am afraid if I get close to a guy I will get vulnerable. My friend told me that the whole tomboy thing is just a defensive act and I don't want to show anyone I am a deep sensitive women, maybe but I do like sports and guns and this whole is working for me. I am happy and doing a good job of taking care of myself and I am ok with guys just wanting to be my friend, its probably a good thing for now. I just need more time to heal.