Social experiment

For the first time ever I wore a miniskirt. Was a strange feeling being that I never revealed that much of my body to the public before. But it was interesting to see how guys reacted to me so differently when I was dressed like that. It felt good to get all the attention and not to give guys what they wanted. Guys who usually don't talk to me, were all into me. These guys I hardly knew were like I know her, and their friends were like dude how do you know her. Guys asked me out on dated. 3 or 4 guys were calling my name at once or trying to pull me in their direction. I stayed with girls and dint do anything stupid. It was nice to feel wanted but it made me realize if almost any girl dressed like that guys would want her too, and it wasn't because they liked me for me or my intelligence. But yea it did make me feel good to be wanted. And it made me think. I was speaking to someone recently how girls act to abuse or rape. There's a few ways. One is they totally withdraw, either just from guys or society in general. Staying away from whats hurt them. Some switch to girls, feeling safer in lesbian relationships and not giving guys another chance to hurt them ever again. Another way of trying to deal with is, is what I did. Going from guy to guy, thinking that would help me get over my fear of men if I kept repeating the act. Its very common for girls who dealt with rape to become promiscuous but it doesn't help obviously, and it just creates more bad memories and more hurt to deal with. Another common thing is to do what I did when I wore a miniskirt. Tease guys, let them want you but then dont give them what they want, making you feel like you have the power and control and not like when the rape happened and the guy had all the control. None of the stages are healthy but they are common when someone is going through that. What I have been trying to do lately is only to engage in healthy relationship and not do any of this.Trying to become normal again.