Just The Way You Are

When I was 13, a friend of mine used to comment on how thin I was and pick up my shirt to stare at my stomach, and while yes I thought it was a little weird I didn't think much of it... until she missed graduation because she was in the hospital with an eating disorder. After that she was in and out of the hospital for years, and when it wasn't anorexia it was drugs and bad boyfriends and things like that. But I never got over that guilt, knowing there was a problem; that she was obsessed with me being skinny and would tell me how she lost an insane amount of weight in a short period of time and I never got her help. Looking back now, I realize that I had no way of helping her, I didn't know about eating disorders and there was nothing I could have done to help. For some reason over the years many people have confided in me about their crazy eating habits and misperception of their body. Maybe it's because they think I'm a good listener or maybe because they believe that since I am skinny, the way they want to look, I will understand. But I don't. I was born this way. And yes I work out, a lot. But that's because my favorite thing to do is sports, I have springs in my feet. I can't walk I need to run. I enjoy working out like they probably enjoy eating. I don't work out to lose weight I do it because it's something that I enjoy. So when people who are thin say I wish I could look like you, it really upsets me for a variety of reasons. 1-why do you want to look like me? skinny is not beautiful. They should strive to be healthy. There is nothing wrong with weighing more as long as it's not unhealthy. Who decided skinny is beautiful? 2-They complain about it, but do nothing practical for it like work out regularly, eat healthy, stay on a normal diet. We will be working out together and they will stop working out because it's to hard but then continue complaining how they want to look like me. It takes effort. Yes I am naturally thin, but I do work out and maybe that's what keeps me this way. They don't realize that things worth having take effort. Maybe I don't understand completely, weight has never been an issue for me. 3-Even when most people who think they are fat do lose weight their perception of their body doesn't change. They keep obsessing, keep wanting to lose weight and get stuck in a bad cycle. It just hurts me so much when some people can't see how beautiful they are. When they look in the mirror they don't see what we all see and they hurt their body's so much by starving themselves, and throwing up or taking laxatives. I wish we could put a lesser emphasis on weight and beauty, so people especially girls wouldn't have to try so hard to fit in. I myself recently decided I don't care what people think bout me, yes I wish I was more beautiful or more this or that but this is who I am and I am not going to spend an hour in front of the mirror or obsessing about myself. It will only bring me down and leave me disappointed. I will never look like a model, but I like who I am and some guys do too. And as long as I can find one person who is attracted to me I will be fine. But my approach isn't reality and I don't expect most people to do that, I just dont want girls hurting themselves. I have seen so many friends hurt. They come to school smelling of throw up, or they eyes looking sunken, and their cheek bones almost popping out their face, or more hair growing on their body because their body is so cold because it has no fat. Who are they doing it for? This post was basically a venting session, not out of anger, but because I care so much. Also on a side note, as I was writing this I was listening to a cover of just the way you are by Bruno Mars by Boyce Avenue, and when its got to the part where it says" you're amazing, just the way you are", I decided that had to be the tile of this post. Because it's true, whoever you are you are amazing, don't try to change that.